Category Archives: Child Support

alienation, Child Custody, Child Support

Don’t be a Rotten Parent

02/04/2014 BowTieLawyer 3 Comments

Rotten (adjective, rot·ten·er, rot·ten·est.)

1. decomposing or decaying; putrid; tainted, foul, or bad-smelling.

2. corrupt or morally offensive.

3. wretchedly bad, unpleasant, or unsatisfactory;

miserable: a rotten piece of work; a rotten day at the office.

4. contemptible; despicable: a rotten little liar; a rotten trick.

Parenting is hard. Co-parenting even more-so especially with the one other person on the planet that you despise the most, but it MUST be done. Rotten parents, unfortunately, exist and some even thrive at their rottenness. Seldom, it seems, are they actually held accountable for their conduct.

What is Rotten parenting?

Bad mouthing the other parent to the child.
Bad mouthing the child.
Being unreasonable in your demands to spend time with the child.
Being unreasonable in the other parent’s requests for additional time.
Unreasonably interfering with the child’s schedule.
Creating an unreasonable schedule for the child to interfere with the other parent’s time.
Making false abuse allegations.
Perpetrating abuse against the child and/other parent.
Using finances to the detriment of the child.

So, what do you do as a “non-rotten” parent? You keep doing the right things. Every time. It’s what is best for your child. And when it’s bad enough, take action and follow it through.

Matthew Thompson is a Child Custody attorney and warns against rotten parenting.

Follow the blog: #BowTieLawyer . You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce, Visitation

A Parent’s #1 Obligation

01/21/2014 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

A parent has a moral and legal duty to promote a healthy, affectionate relationship between the child and the other parent!

family-law-changes

What? You justify your conduct by saying, “I am not bad-mouthing him.” But, just not bad-mouthing him is not enough. You have an affirmative duty to promote a good relationship. (with rare exceptions for the health and safety of the child.)

Encourage, promote and truly desire a good relationship between your child and the other parent. Your child will benefit!

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law & Divorce Attorney and reminds you that a child with two parents that get along and are involved is better than the alternative.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm. You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce, General Legal

Read Your Papers!

12/24/2013 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

It may sound rude, but the question is nonetheless valid, “Have you even read your divorce papers?”

The very first step in determining your rights, answering your questions and determining whether you may get in trouble, all start with the same thing; Reading your papers. They define the type of custody, what you owe and the time you get for custody/visitation periods.

Agreements can be very difficult to remember. It is easy to get confused and is easy to forget. Read them. Is it MY Christmas? Read the papers. Do I owe for the car tags? Read the papers. Is it MY weekend or is it suspended due to an intervening holiday? Read the papers.

If you do not know how much support you owe, read the papers. If you wonder if you have a claim for contempt because so-and-so did not have them back by 5:00 pm, you guessed it, read the papers.

“Read your Papers!” – Matthew Thompson

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law Attorney and reads lots of papers and will read yours too.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Custody, Child Support, Crime, Divorce, General Legal, Opinion

How to be a TERRIBLE Person. (11 specific ways you can be mean & hateful.)

12/23/2013 BowTieLawyer 5 Comments

In my profession I get to see a lot of what not to do almost, every day; from videos, texts, and emails to actions and sometimes inaction.

So, I have compiled a list of what terrible people do. If you want to be terrible do these things, in no particular order.

Curse and scream at your spouse, as loud as you can, as often as you can.
Curse and scream at your children.
Make false abuse claims.
Lie about the false abuse claims even when it’s clear they are false.
Bad-mouth your child’s other parent to the child. (Hey, it’s the truth, right!)
Interfere with their time with the child. Just do it. Sure it hurts your child too, that’s what makes it even more terrible.
Abuse your spouse or child. (Any form – all are terrible, some more-so than others.)
Refuse to support your family.
File suit when your ex paid 5 days late, even though they told you. It’s the principal, right?
Threaten to make public private images. (and mean it when you say it, at least in the moment.)
Refuse Christmas visitation. Just because.

There you have it, 11 mean, hate-filled things that you can do to be terrible.

“Oh, and if you don’t want to be terrible don’t do these things.” – Matthew Thompson

Matthew Thompson is a Family Law Attorney in Mississippi and tries not to do terrible things or give terrible advice.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer . You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Custody, Child Support, Crime, Divorce, Opinion

Never Do This in Court! (or This!)

10/14/2013 BowTieLawyer 2 Comments

Court. The most anxious, stress-filled, loss of control decision a person can make. Even with careful preparation it can be unpleasant. Without preparation it can be a nightmare!

So what should you not do in Court?

Don’t argue with the Judge. Even if the Judge is “wrong,” “mistaken,” or “backwards.” Leave the arguing to the attorney.
Don’t argue with your attorney. Short of catastrophic representation meltdown listen and heed your attorney’s advice.
Don’t argue with the other attorney. Just answer the questions asked, explaining if necessary. Personal jabs, smart-alleck responses and witty banter are not needed.

So that’s what you should not do, but what should you NEVER do?

Never give sassy responses to the Judge. This is different from arguing. Oftentimes the Judge will have questions for the witnesses. The responses and the manner given matter. For instance, in a hearing where both parents sought custody and child support, the father said that he did “NOT need ANY child support nor ANY money to care for HIS kids…” But, he then objected to having to pay any child support as he had limited income. The Court made note of his inconsistency.
Never criticize the other parent for conduct that you also do. On another occasion a parent was being especially critical of the other for “leaving” the children at day care all day and not picking them up until the “last-minute,” around 5:30. Well, this parent had also just testified they were self-employed and could get the children at any time, because his schedule was so flexible, but did not. This irked the Judge.
Never lie. (PERJURY) You will get caught. The truth is easy to remember. Remember, usually, it’s not the crime but the cover-up that gets you. The very affluent husband, with a great job, testified that he was unsure of his income, but knew his expenses down to the penny. He testified under oath that his expenses exceeded his income by over $10,000 per month. The problem? He had no debt. This situation of making $10,000 less than he was spending had been going on for months, if not years, but he always made payroll, carried no debt, had no loans and could not explain how this could be. Perhaps he had a money tree out back. The Judge imputed income and based his obligations on what he stated his expenses were and what apparently his income was.

Matthew Thompson is an Adjunct Professor- Domestic Relations at MC Law and a Family Law Lawyer. Don’t do these things in Court if you know what’s good for you!

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Custody, Child Support, Crime, Divorce, Modifications, Opinion

Drugs, Sex & Rock-n-Roll…No, Just DRUGS.

10/09/2013 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

Drugs, it seems, are back on the scene in a big way. Habitual Drug use is a ground for divorce. Drug use can be a bar to custody. Drug abuse is a Crime and can lead to other troubles.

It’s more and more common for parties in family law cases to be drug tested. Urine, hair follicles, blood and even finger nails can be tested for drug use. Depending on the test, results can show drugs or alcohol in your system from 2 days ago up to 90 days ago. And testing “Hot” is not a good thing.

In your Family Law case the Court will put a lot of weight in a Failed Drug test when determining custody, visitation and credibility. While a Failed Drug test does not guaranty you will lose custody, it certainly does not help. It also can matter what type of drugs, how recent and quantities that the test results show.

Use, whether it is “recreational,” “just once” or “I never inhaled” can and will be used against you. Drug use can also be an element of child neglect/abuse.

Once, I was discussing visitation rights with a non-custodial parent. I made the comment, “Well, as long as you did not have a meth lab in the garage you have nothing to worry about.” The response, “What if I did?” “That’s going to be a problem…“

Now, all is not lost if you have used drugs or are using drugs, IF you STOP! Court’s like to see people “get their act together” “turn their life around” and “be productive members of society.” You can see your kids and you may even get or regain custody if you are doing all the right things.

Matthew Thompson is an Adjunct Professor teaching Domestic Relations and a Divorce Attorney. In the words of Nancy Reagan, “JUST SAY NO!”

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Support, Crime, Modifications, Opinion

Child Support, DHS and Why You Should Care; Pay Attention or You May Pay More!

10/04/2013 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

Child Support is the court ordered obligation the non-custodial parent pays the custodial parent for the necessary child related expenses. Usually Dad pays it directly to Mom in a divorce situation and in paternity cases it’s more often through DHS, the Department of Human Services-Child Support Enforcement Unit. (dah-duhn) (the Law and Order “sound” being referenced just now.)

It is standard that if dad is delinquent on payments or mom seeks state benefits, opening a case with DHS will cause the monies to be redirected through DHS, and possibly a Withholding Order be issued against the payor. The law provides that DHS can do this summarily upon application with minimal notice requirements and does not require a modification of your Court Order by the Court which originally ordered it.

This is kind of a big deal. In plain English, this means that if mom says your late, DHS swings into action. They send you a letter stating you are behind, threaten to suspend your license, send a Withholding Order to your work and assume guilt automatically. This creates lots of hassle and headache when it’s not true. Additionally, when it’s not true, it takes filing an action in Court to fix it, securing an Order. There are usually no consequences for mom and she can do it again if she wants.

Well, DHS is stepping up their enforcement another notch. Mom can go in and just say, “I want him to pay through DHS.” She does not have to allege any delinquency, she does not have to apply for other state benefits. She pays $25, opens a case and dad is notified that from that point he is to pay directly to and through DHS. If dad does not pay directly, DHS will pursue contempt and arrearage against him. And DHS considers the letter, which dad may or may not have even received, as sufficient and reasonable notice to dad and treats dad’s continued payments to mom as “gifts.” All of this without formal Court involvement and in my view far short of “due process,” but nonetheless valid as of now. MCA 43-19-35, et seq.

So if you are paying child support directly and get something from DHS, DO NOT IGNORE IT. It could have serious implications on who and what you pay. Notify your attorney immediately. If you are receiving child support and are having issues with the payor, consider having it redirected through DHS. It is a much less expensive alternative to a private attorney when that deadbeat ain’t paying.

Whether you like the DHS process or not it is being enforced force and taking effect.

Matthew Thompson, a Child Support Lawyer and Family Law Adj. Professor at MC Law, encourages you to know your rights and obligations when it comes to Child Support. Pay your Support and Pay it Often!

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce, Grandparent Visitation, Modifications, Opinion

Going to Court is HARD.

09/25/2013 BowTieLawyer 1 Comment

I have blogged recently about Why Settling Your Case is Best, avoiding Court, and Why Going to Court is “Best.” The gist of the former being settlement is preferred for having a say in the final outcome and having predictability and the latter, going to Court is best when there is no room for compromise.

Unfortunately, I have been involved in the latter, a case where there was no room for compromise. From my perspective one party was primarily the aggressor and was encouraged by the attorney to take unreasonable positions and force the matter to Court. Of course, they did not view their own positions as meritless. Also, I’m sure they thought my client and I were wretches…

Regardless, hard feelings abounded. This case had some history. What should have been a run of the mill divorce and custody matter was extremely contentious and was litigated over an issue that was not an issue. In Round One, after most of a day of trial, the Court stopped the matter and told the other side they were going to lose on their issue and the case did settle.

But, like the A-Team, they had a plan! Just a few months after it was final they decided another bite at the apple was proper. Based primarily on speculation…which was eventually admitted at Court, the other side sought to change the deal they had agreed to just months prior. Round Two in Court was based on rank speculation. After hours of testimony, haughty lecturing, and what can only be described as highly stylized testimony by the aggressive party and deeply emotional testimony by the other, the Court dismissed the case.

So, what is the take away? Sour grapes? I don’t think so, at least not on my part. It made me realize, yet again, Court is HARD. It is not fun. It is emotional. And, even when you win, nobody wins. Here’s what else can be guaranteed, when you successfully defend against baseless claims from the other side who thinks they are completely in the right when they are not, you better get ready for posturing and Round 3!

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney and knows that sometimes even when you win you don’t win.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law FirmYou may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms