Tag Archives: divorce

Divorce, General Legal, Marriage, Opinion

Ringing In Valentine’s Day; Who gets the Ring when things go Wrong?

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Valentine’s Day is one of the most popular days to get engaged!  Along with Christmas and New Years, Valentine’s Day is the holiday for popping the question.  But who gets the RING if things don’t pan out?

In Mississippi, the ring is a pre-marriage gift.  It can be argued that the ring is actually a conditional gift creating a contractual obligation.  How Romantic!

Here’s the scenario.  An offer of marriage is proposed and a ring given in exchange for a “Yes,” being an agreement to marry.  So long as both parties uphold their end; the fellow gives the ring and the lady marries the fellow = offer + acceptance & valuable consideration.  At this point the contract is fulfilled and the rings is now the property of the lady.  But what if they were only married for a minute?  Well, if they married the contract is fulfilled.  Certainly, there could be exceptions due to fraud or overreaching, but these are not typical.

The chancellor properly concluded that the engagement ring was a gift from [the fellow] to [the lady]. That gift necessarily predated the marriage of the parties. Thus, it was an asset brought by [the lady] into the marriage and was not a marital asset subject to equitable division. MacDonald v. MacDonald, 698 So.2d 1079 (¶ 13) (Miss.1997). It was, therefore, beyond the chancellor’s authority to order [the lady]  to return possession of that item to [the fellow] and the refusal to do so cannot constitute reversible error on appeal.  Neville v. Neville, 734 So.2d 352 (Ms.App. 1997).

Want to be safe, legally speaking anyway? Then make your marriage proposal contingent, as follows*:

 “Dearest One,

I love you and desire to marry you.   As a symbol of same, I am making a wholly contingent offer to you of this ring, of significant monetary and sentimental value, but a likewise sizable lien against same, in exchange for your promise to marry me. In the event that we do NOT get married, then said ring shall be returned to me in the same condition as presented, or alternatively you may elect to assume said lien, in full, for said ring and shall indemnify and defend me from any liability thereon.  ‘Will you accept this rose?'” *(a paraphrase of colleague J. Kitchens)

Matthew Thompson is a family law attorney that you can engage in the event you need a divorce, and if you use the above contingent marriage proposal, you just might!

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Child Custody, Divorce, General Legal, Modifications

Jurisdiction; Where to Sue.

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Jurisdiction is one of those legal terms we hear a lot, but aren’t always sure what it means.  In the legal world, for a Court to be able to act upon a  filed complaint and grant relief to a party, the Court must have jurisdiction.

Jurisdiction provides the Court authority to makes decisions over a party and the topic of their lawsuit.

Mississippi law provides rules for determining if a Court has jurisdiction and where that may be.  MCA § 93-5-5, contains the residency requirements for a divorce  action.  Additionally, all actions for divorce will be filed in the Chancery Court for the appropriate county.

The jurisdiction of the chancery court in suits for divorce shall be confined to the following cases:

(a) Where one (1) of the parties has been an actual bonafide resident within this state for six (6) months next preceding the commencement of the suit. If a member of the armed services of the United States is stationed in the state and residing within the state with his spouse, such person and his spouse shall be considered actual bonafide residents of the state for the purposes of this section, provided they were residing within the state at the time of the separation of the parties.

(b) In any case where the proof shows that a residence was acquired in this state with a purpose of securing a divorce, the court shall not take jurisdiction thereof, but dismiss the bill at the cost of complainant.

In plain terms, this means you file your divorce action in your home county, or the County that you have resided in for at least 6 months, immediately filing the action.  If you were married in another stated and meet the Mississippi residency requirements you file in Mississippi.  If were married on the Coast, but live in Jackson and have for over 6 months you file in Jackson.  Sometimes, if you wish to file in your current area, but have not met the residency requirements you may have to wait.  Sometimes there are disputes as to residency and the parties can litigate where the case should be litigated.  Some states have different residency requirements than Mississippi so don’t bank on the 6 months if you are in another state.

There are also a number of exceptions or tweaks to the jurisdictional rules.  Another Court, or State, could have “emergency jurisdiction” in child custody cases pursuant to the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Enforcement Act. (UCCJEA).  Also, if your divorce was originally in another state or another county, that original Court would have original jurisdiction and there are additional rules to “transfer” jurisdiction and in some instance you cannot move it.  Military family law cases also have exceptions to the traditional jurisdiction rules.

Jurisdiction is a critical aspect to consider when filing.  It is imperative that your case be filed in the right place geographically and the right Court.  You also may have options between differing Courts based on what is at issue in your case.  Talk to your lawyer about where your case should be filed.

Matthew is a family law attorney and native Mississippian.  Follow his blog, here, at http://www.BowTieLawyer.wp.com.

You may also contact Matthew with your family law or jurisdictional question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@wmtlawfirm.com.

Divorce, General Legal, Opinion

Holiday Burnout; 3 Tips to Cope and Keep Moving Forward.

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Now that the Holiday’s hustle and bustle are behind us it is common for an emotional lull or brief bout of depression to set in.  These are the Christmas Blues and are real.  These are especially common in those persons dealing with the stress of family law litigation.

Christmas Blues happen for a number of reasons; all of the excitement and anticipation of the holidays have passed, financial problems that were ignored can no longer be (your personal financial cliff), the relatives you actually enjoy seeing have gone back home, and the “doldrums” of work and real life are back, in full force. There is even a medical term that can be applied; seasonal affective disorder.

There are a few mechanisms to cope with these Christmas Blues. I have previously blogged on dealing with stress by keeping a routine, adding some form of physical fitness and making your bed everyday, these continue to be applicable.  However, the Christmas Blues can be counteracted with a few other techniques, which also happen to be appropriate if you are dealing with or anticipate dealing with family law issues.

  • Get a financial check-up.  Meet with your financial advisor or CPA.  Hire one if you don’t have one.  You may think you don’t have a need or do not have enough assets to warrant it, however knowing what you have, where it goes and what to do with it helps regardless of your situation.
  • Get a medical check-up.  This is almost as unpopular as going to the dentist, but do it anyway.  Knowing what’s going on with your health is important and can head off future issues. I know you’re busy and feel fine.  Do it anyway.
  • Get a spiritual check-up.  Why do bad things happen to good people?  Why is their so much illness and tragedy in the world?  I do not have all of the answers, but these are common questions.  Being centered, be it through your church, other place of worship or out in the woods, helps you cope with life’s unanswered questions.

These are not earth shattering, though may be annoying or hard to schedule.  Do it anyway.  You will not regret it.

Matthew is a divorce attorney, food blogger, and Mississippian, none of which he apologizes for.  Follow the @ http://www.BowTieLawyer.ms.

You may contact the Firm at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

Bow Tie, Crime, Divorce, General Legal, Opinion, Pets

BowTieLawyer’s Top Rated Posts of 2012 (and a few of my favorites)

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Below are the Top Rated posts for BowTieLawyer for 2012 and a few of my favorites.  Thank you for viewing this blog, posting comments and sharing.  I think this is a worthwhile blog and I enjoy doing it.

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I began on August 14, 2012, blogging about Family Law issues and whatever else I felt like.

TOP 5 POSTS FOR 2012

And a few of my Favorites;

Thompson Law Firm, pllc        (601) 850-8000

Child Custody, Divorce, Opinion

Dealing with Disappointment; Divorce, Stress and Uncertainty

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Unfortunately, disappointment is a part of life.  It can also be a major part of family law cases.  Most often in a family law case, someone is going through just about the most difficult thing they do as an adult when dealing with a divorce/custody matter.  Either they have done something, or their spouse has, which has caused significant upheaval, loss of trust and despair   A large part of family law includes helping someone cope with those feelings and emotions.

While there is no easy answer on how to cope, there are a number of things that can be done to promote healing.

  • Seek Counseling.  I recommend counseling to almost every client.  This is NOT because I think something is wrong with them.  It is because Counselors are people who have expertise in dealing with persons going through emotional crisis.  A lawyer can deal with a legal crisis, and some are good at the emotional issues too, but all are not.  A counselor can help and they have often heard and dealt with a similar circumstance.  Counseling can be with a licensed counselor, a religious leader or a sage friend with experience.
  • Keep a Routine.  Keeping a routine can help more than you think.  A recent study showed that persons who made their bed each morning were more organized and felt better about themselves throughout the day.  This routine made their day better.  This is something easy to do and it only takes 2 minutes, but can make a difference in how you feel.  I encourage my clients to get in a routine and keep it. I encourage them to continue their exercise regimen or start one.  Let’s Go Walking (a la Haley Barbour!).  I also encourage them to eat the right stuff.  While this may sound dumb or not my business – a family law matter concerns mind, body, and spirit.
  • Listen to Your Attorney.  One of the easiest things to say and hardest to do is to follow the advice of your attorney.  Ideally, you are working with an attorney that has handled many situations, which have been similar to yours.  Just like you, attorneys learn from experience.  Hire one that knows what they are doing and then take their advice.  This one factor alone is worthy of its own blog…

Disappointment is a part of life and, seemingly, a large part of family law.  Effectively dealing with the “bumps” in the road will help you get back on track.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

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Child Support, Divorce

Financially Ever-After; Assets and Lies

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Financial issues abound in almost every divorce action.  The parties fight over the money, the debt, the house, the business and anything else of value.  The financial consequences of divorce can not be overstated.  It typically results in a change in lifestyle for both parties, and despite the law that contemplates “maintaining the lifestyle of which you have grown accustomed,” divorce frequently results in both parties living a reduced lifestyle. It takes more money to run two households than it does one.

Mississippi Courts use a form for financial disclosures. This form is called an “Eight-oh-Five,” as it is Rule 8.05 (clickable) which requires the completion and use of a financial statement in family law cases.  The 8.05 must list all income, assets, expenses and liabilities.  Whether they be “joint” or solely owned by one party, they have to be disclosed.  The 8.05 also must include a recent pay stub, work history and the most recent tax return.  These are to be completed under oath and are subject to perjury safeguards.

Persons who have submitted materially false 8.05s have been held accountable by the Court, even well after the fact.  In a recent, notable case the husband, who also had a girlfriend, won the lottery about 2 months before the divorce. He did not disclose the winnings and it was an out of state lottery so the wife did not hear about it.  The parties were divorced.  About 4 years later, the now ex-husband’s girlfriend called the ex-wife to let her know that the husband had won the lottery just prior to the divorce. Why?  Well, the girlfriend found out that the fellow was now cheating on her.  The ex-wife filed a petition to re-open the matter due to fraud.  The husband’s failure to disclose was found to be “fraud on the Court” and the case was re-opened. The wife was awarded a portion of the winnings and attorney fees.

Moral of the story; disclose your assets and be honest. The Court requires full disclosure.

Thompson Law Firm, PLLC      (601) 850-8000

Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

 

Divorce, Opinion

Call an Audible! Effectively Making Adjustments in Strategy.

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Watching the first half of the State game has inspired a blog! MSU is running a 3-4 defensive scheme. This means there are 3 defensive linemen and 4 linebackers. The problem here is that A&M is blocking 3 defenders with 5 and sometimes 6 blockers. The State defensive front is outnumbered.

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This allows the A&M QB, Johnny Football, time to find the open receiver or scramble around and run. Two things he’s good at.
The point is you have to have a game plan coming in, but when it’s not working and you find yourself trailing by 4 scores it’s time for a strategy change.
Divorce is the same way. You have to have a strategy to get to your end game. Be it through litigation or negotiation, but if you find it not working, change strategies!

A recent case I was involved in had the wife doggedly pursuing a cruelty based divorce. But cruelty “proof” was light to say the least. No physical abuse, no real major altercations and no extreme behavior by the husband. The wife’s strategy however was to take it all the way and get her divorce, despite that she could not. The husband’s strategy was to defend and negotiate. The wife refused. The husband stayed the course, much like, I suspect A&M will stay the course the second half.

Well, after a 1/2 day in trial and the wife’s “best” witnesses of cruelty barely making a fizzle with the Court, she decided to negotiate. The end result was an agreement to all issues with both giving more in some areas and taking less in others.

Her forgoing her prior game plan in the face of a defense ready for it resulted in an agreed resolution. Let’s hope MSU makes halftime adjustments with their defense and changes their game plan for the better.
UPDATE… The Bulldogs made adjustments at the half they came out with a 4 and 5 down linemen defensive scheme. They have been able to hold a potent A&M offense to just one additional score so far and have scored themselves and are putting together some good looking drives.

Make adjustments in your game plan as needed.

Thompson Law Firm, PLLC
(601) 850-8000
Matthew@ wmtlawfirm.com

Divorce, Opinion

Know What is Going on in Your Case!

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There have been countless times that I have spoken to a potential client (PC, not to be confused with a personal computer), that has been represented by another attorney, and the PC does not know what is happening in their own case.  This is unbelievable to me.  They do not know what was filed, they do not know if it has been set for trial, they do not know who the judge is.

A Family Law case is just about the most difficult thing that you do as an adult, short of a death of a close family member.  And in some instances Divorce can be worse because it’s the “death” of a marriage and you still have to co-exist with the other party.  At least if they were dead you wouldn’t have to deal with them.  Glib humor aside, Family Law is hard.

David Castillo Dominici/ freedigitalphotos.net

As a client you should know what has been filed; a Joint Complaint or a Fault based Complaint, you should know if you have Court coming up, and you should know who the Judge is.  Now, if you were told all of this and chose not to place this info into your permanent memory banks because you have confidence in your attorney and your goal is to get through today, that is ok.  But, if you don’t know the details because it has not been explained to you, it is time for a sit down and a heart to heart, seeing eye to eye with your attorney. (BTW, all attorneys have been guilty of this a time or two…)  Don’t be afraid to ask  who, what, when, where and why?  Their job is to answer those questions.

Now in defense of attorneys, sometimes we do explain things and they are misunderstood or are somewhat complex and a short explanation has to do for the meantime.  Persons going through Family Law situations can be highly emotional and sometimes it’s information overload.  In that circumstance you may choose NOT to explain everything or  ask that a family member or trusted friend attend with the client for an in-person meeting.   Sometimes the attorney is speaking pig-latin, a bad habit.

As a client, ask what is going on. Know what is going on.  It is the rest of your life.  (It may just be another case for the attorney.)