Tag Archives: divorce

Bow Tie, Crime, Divorce, General Legal, Opinion, Pets

BowTieLawyer’s Top Rated Posts of 2012 (and a few of my favorites)

12/31/2012 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

Below are the Top Rated posts for BowTieLawyer for 2012 and a few of my favorites. Thank you for viewing this blog, posting comments and sharing. I think this is a worthwhile blog and I enjoy doing it.

I began on August 14, 2012, blogging about Family Law issues and whatever else I felt like.

And a few of my Favorites;

1 I am an Undivorce Attorney August 2012
2 If the CIA can’t get away with an Affair what makes you think you can?! November 2012
3 Footballs and Labradors; Wild Custody Battles and Compromises September 2012
4 Curses; Names to Call a Divorce Lawyer. (*#%$#&) October 2012

Thompson Law Firm, pllc (601) 850-8000

Child Custody, Divorce, Opinion

Dealing with Disappointment; Divorce, Stress and Uncertainty

11/16/2012 BowTieLawyer 8 Comments

Unfortunately, disappointment is a part of life. It can also be a major part of family law cases. Most often in a family law case, someone is going through just about the most difficult thing they do as an adult when dealing with a divorce/custody matter. Either they have done something, or their spouse has, which has caused significant upheaval, loss of trust and despair A large part of family law includes helping someone cope with those feelings and emotions.

While there is no easy answer on how to cope, there are a number of things that can be done to promote healing.

Seek Counseling. I recommend counseling to almost every client. This is NOT because I think something is wrong with them. It is because Counselors are people who have expertise in dealing with persons going through emotional crisis. A lawyer can deal with a legal crisis, and some are good at the emotional issues too, but all are not. A counselor can help and they have often heard and dealt with a similar circumstance. Counseling can be with a licensed counselor, a religious leader or a sage friend with experience.

Keep a Routine. Keeping a routine can help more than you think. A recent study showed that persons who made their bed each morning were more organized and felt better about themselves throughout the day. This routine made their day better. This is something easy to do and it only takes 2 minutes, but can make a difference in how you feel. I encourage my clients to get in a routine and keep it. I encourage them to continue their exercise regimen or start one. Let’s Go Walking (a la Haley Barbour!). I also encourage them to eat the right stuff. While this may sound dumb or not my business – a family law matter concerns mind, body, and spirit.

Listen to Your Attorney. One of the easiest things to say and hardest to do is to follow the advice of your attorney. Ideally, you are working with an attorney that has handled many situations, which have been similar to yours. Just like you, attorneys learn from experience. Hire one that knows what they are doing and then take their advice. This one factor alone is worthy of its own blog…

Disappointment is a part of life and, seemingly, a large part of family law. Effectively dealing with the “bumps” in the road will help you get back on track.

Follow the blog: BowTieLawyer Visit the website: Thompson Law Firm

You may also contact Matthew with your family law case, question or concern at (601) 850-8000 or Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms.

Child Support, Divorce

Financially Ever-After; Assets and Lies

11/07/2012 BowTieLawyer 3 Comments

Financial issues abound in almost every divorce action. The parties fight over the money, the debt, the house, the business and anything else of value. The financial consequences of divorce can not be overstated. It typically results in a change in lifestyle for both parties, and despite the law that contemplates “maintaining the lifestyle of which you have grown accustomed,” divorce frequently results in both parties living a reduced lifestyle. It takes more money to run two households than it does one.

Mississippi Courts use a form for financial disclosures. This form is called an “Eight-oh-Five,” as it is Rule 8.05 (clickable) which requires the completion and use of a financial statement in family law cases. The 8.05 must list all income, assets, expenses and liabilities. Whether they be “joint” or solely owned by one party, they have to be disclosed. The 8.05 also must include a recent pay stub, work history and the most recent tax return. These are to be completed under oath and are subject to perjury safeguards.

Persons who have submitted materially false 8.05s have been held accountable by the Court, even well after the fact. In a recent, notable case the husband, who also had a girlfriend, won the lottery about 2 months before the divorce. He did not disclose the winnings and it was an out of state lottery so the wife did not hear about it. The parties were divorced. About 4 years later, the now ex-husband’s girlfriend called the ex-wife to let her know that the husband had won the lottery just prior to the divorce. Why? Well, the girlfriend found out that the fellow was now cheating on her. The ex-wife filed a petition to re-open the matter due to fraud. The husband’s failure to disclose was found to be “fraud on the Court” and the case was re-opened. The wife was awarded a portion of the winnings and attorney fees.

Moral of the story; disclose your assets and be honest. The Court requires full disclosure.

Thompson Law Firm, PLLC (601) 850-8000

Matthew@bowtielawyer.ms

Divorce, Opinion

Call an Audible! Effectively Making Adjustments in Strategy.

11/03/2012 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

Watching the first half of the State game has inspired a blog! MSU is running a 3-4 defensive scheme. This means there are 3 defensive linemen and 4 linebackers. The problem here is that A&M is blocking 3 defenders with 5 and sometimes 6 blockers. The State defensive front is outnumbered.

This allows the A&M QB, Johnny Football, time to find the open receiver or scramble around and run. Two things he’s good at.
The point is you have to have a game plan coming in, but when it’s not working and you find yourself trailing by 4 scores it’s time for a strategy change.
Divorce is the same way. You have to have a strategy to get to your end game. Be it through litigation or negotiation, but if you find it not working, change strategies!

A recent case I was involved in had the wife doggedly pursuing a cruelty based divorce. But cruelty “proof” was light to say the least. No physical abuse, no real major altercations and no extreme behavior by the husband. The wife’s strategy however was to take it all the way and get her divorce, despite that she could not. The husband’s strategy was to defend and negotiate. The wife refused. The husband stayed the course, much like, I suspect A&M will stay the course the second half.

Well, after a 1/2 day in trial and the wife’s “best” witnesses of cruelty barely making a fizzle with the Court, she decided to negotiate. The end result was an agreement to all issues with both giving more in some areas and taking less in others.

Her forgoing her prior game plan in the face of a defense ready for it resulted in an agreed resolution. Let’s hope MSU makes halftime adjustments with their defense and changes their game plan for the better.
UPDATE… The Bulldogs made adjustments at the half they came out with a 4 and 5 down linemen defensive scheme. They have been able to hold a potent A&M offense to just one additional score so far and have scored themselves and are putting together some good looking drives.

Make adjustments in your game plan as needed.

Thompson Law Firm, PLLC
(601) 850-8000
Matthew@ wmtlawfirm.com

Divorce, Opinion

Know What is Going on in Your Case!

10/03/2012 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

There have been countless times that I have spoken to a potential client (PC, not to be confused with a personal computer), that has been represented by another attorney, and the PC does not know what is happening in their own case. This is unbelievable to me. They do not know what was filed, they do not know if it has been set for trial, they do not know who the judge is.

A Family Law case is just about the most difficult thing that you do as an adult, short of a death of a close family member. And in some instances Divorce can be worse because it’s the “death” of a marriage and you still have to co-exist with the other party. At least if they were dead you wouldn’t have to deal with them. Glib humor aside, Family Law is hard.

David Castillo Dominici/ freedigitalphotos.net

As a client you should know what has been filed; a Joint Complaint or a Fault based Complaint, you should know if you have Court coming up, and you should know who the Judge is. Now, if you were told all of this and chose not to place this info into your permanent memory banks because you have confidence in your attorney and your goal is to get through today, that is ok. But, if you don’t know the details because it has not been explained to you, it is time for a sit down and a heart to heart, seeing eye to eye with your attorney. (BTW, all attorneys have been guilty of this a time or two…) Don’t be afraid to ask who, what, when, where and why? Their job is to answer those questions.

Now in defense of attorneys, sometimes we do explain things and they are misunderstood or are somewhat complex and a short explanation has to do for the meantime. Persons going through Family Law situations can be highly emotional and sometimes it’s information overload. In that circumstance you may choose NOT to explain everything or ask that a family member or trusted friend attend with the client for an in-person meeting. Sometimes the attorney is speaking pig-latin, a bad habit.

As a client, ask what is going on. Know what is going on. It is the rest of your life. (It may just be another case for the attorney.)

Child Custody, Divorce, Pets

Footballs and Labradors: Wild Custody Battles & Compromises

09/07/2012 BowTieLawyer 1 Comment

With High School and College Football in full action it reminded me of some of the lighter, or at least non-traditional, custody battles that I have been involved in.

Season Football Tickets- I was involved in a case where the parties were arguing over who got the season football tickets.

The tickets were secured by one party who had been getting them for years, but were actually paid for by the other party, so both felt they had a legitimate claim, additionally both genuinely wanted the tickets. It was not posturing by the wife to get a better deal or more support. The solution was joint custody.

Each picked certain games that they would attend each year and on the ones that both wanted to attend they agreed to alternate even years and odd years to determine who got to go. Another interesting aside was that there were 2 tickets for each game. Who the guest would be was also an issue. Neither wanted the other to be able to take a bf/gf. The compromise there was that the other ticket would be used by a family member or a minor friend of the children. (Minor meaning under 21, not just small). The custody of the tickets was one of the last issues to get resolved. It really did matter.

Dogs- In a similar vein, I have handled several cases involving pets. Pets, under Mississippi law are considered personal property (like an item or thing), however the parties are free to treat pets as members of the family should they so elect, and many do.

The parties ultimately agreed on a week-on, week-off custody arrangement for the dog to be with each “parent.” The agreement also addressed the expenses associated with the dog, including food, care and vet bills. Don’t forget those items!

Almost anything can be negotiated.

Divorce

The Court Can Bar you from Remarrying

08/24/2012 BowTieLawyer Leave a comment

Mississippi has some interesting (read funny) laws. I have previously blogged about Mississippi’s “Undivorce” statute, wherein previously divorced parties can legally undo the divorce. Well, did you know that a MS Judge can also bar you from getting married again?

MCA, Section 93-5-25 includes language that in the event that the Court awarded a divorce against a party for adultery and in the Court’s discretion so decides, that the Court may bar the guilty party from getting married again for one year, requiring the guilty party to petition the Court, thereafter to remove the restriction. I inquired with a local Judge if this had ever been invoked and while he had not, he knew of an instance years ago where it had been used against a serial adulterer. So, not only can Mississippi Court’s divorce you and undivorce you, but in certain circumstances they can prevent you from remarrying.

MCA 93-5-25 holds, in part, “And the judgment may provide, in the discretion of the court, that a party against whom a divorce is granted, because of adultery, shall not be at liberty to marry again; in which case such party shall remain in law as a married person. Provided, however, that after one (1) year, the court may remove the disability and permit the person to marry again, on petition and satisfactory evidence of reformation, or for good cause shown, on the part of the party so barred from remarriage; but the actions of the court under the foregoing proviso shall not be construed as affecting any judgment of divorce granted in any case where the discretion of the chancellor has been exercised in barring one (1) party from remarriage on account of adultery.”

Divorce

I am an Undivorce Attorney

08/14/2012 BowTieLawyer 3 Comments

In Mississippi it is possible to get Undivorced. I am not talking about remarrying the same person, but having your legal divorce – legally revoked.

Upon satisfactory proof of reconciliation, the Court which granted the divorce may revoke the judgment of divorce.

§ 93-5-31. Judgment of divorce may be revoked

The judgment of divorce from the bonds of matrimony may be revoked at any time by the court which granted it, under such regulations and restrictions as it may deem proper to impose, upon the joint application of the parties, and upon the production of satisfactory evidence of their reconciliation.